


I See Fire

by TurtlePudge



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Flashbacks, Gen, M/M, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:33:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23102521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TurtlePudge/pseuds/TurtlePudge
Summary: A look into the inner-workings of Caleb Widogast during moments of the campaign.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 30





	I See Fire

These strangers and their insistent questioning. Caleb just wanted to be left alone. Less eyes on him, less attention. Caleb and Nott can't risk it. The coin was appealing but the danger too great. He wanted to avoid them but then the weird blue tiefling was suddenly at their table. Then the two circus folk came and he was suspicious of the fortune teller. Caleb cast Detect Magic but there was nothing. Later he opened his mouth to tell Jester as much, but it was a mistake.

"Also, for the record, there was nothing magic about that. Maybe he's good at reading people, but that was not magic." He wanted to spare her feelings or belief in what the purple tiefling had told her. It was just lies and telling what she wanted to hear.

"How do you know?" Jester questioned, her voice withdrawn slightly.

"Caleb knows everything about magic. He's been even teaching me some. Real good. You should see him- he can-" Nott started to ramble. Caleb began to grow anxious while he listened. The less these people knew about him the better. He licked his bottom lip and interrupted. "Nott-" Please make her stop. The more they knew the more dangerous it would be for them.

"Wait-" Nott started but Jester cut right through the little goblin girl. "Caleb are you going to go to the academy?" Jester asked in wonder. Nott bit her thumb and he saw she tried to read his face. He thought about the question only for a few seconds, forcing memories that threatened to rise up back behind lock and key.

"That's silly." He laughed bitterly with irony. He had already been to the academy, and he was never going back.

"Wh-why wh-" Jester began, clear confusion written on her face. He was good at magic, why wouldn't he want to go to the academy?

"He could if he wanted to- he's really good at magic- he can make a cat appear and disappear whenever he wants!" Nott rambled again. Caleb just wanted this conversation to end. He wanted the spotlight off of him. Better to blend in the background, learn more about these potention threats, and throw attention off of him and Nott, but it was too late now. The others were invested.

"Really? A cat?" Jester asked in awe.

"Is that true?" Fjord sought out an answer in Caleb's face, but the man simply sighed before smiling slightly and snapping his fingers. Caleb's cat Frumpkin jumped up onto the table. Hopefully this would distract them somewhat. But it didn't. Nott started trying to get Caleb to divulge more and Caleb really ought to put a stop to this. Why wasn't she getting the hint?

"You know, sometimes less is more, you know." He mumbled and sighed again as Jester started talking about her magic. It was good to learn what she was capable of. What he might have to go up against. Then she cast Thaumatergy and everyone looked at them. He fought an anxious smile and went quiet. The monk woman stood up and started clapping, making an even bigger scene and Caleb can't have that. There can't be attention on them.

_Frumpkin, please sit on that woman's lap and keep her occupied so she draws less attention._

After Frumpkin distracts her Caleb just looks down at the table, occasionally throwing glances at Nott.

"I think he likes me." The monk says. Caleb inwardly groans.

"Sure, right now he likes you." He replies. Frumpkin likes her because Caleb asked him to.

"Is this a real cat or like a fake cat?" She asks him.

"What do you mean, a fake cat?" Caleb stares at her confounded.

"Like a magic cat." She persists.

"He's both a real cat and a magic cat." He tries to explain patiently.

"Is he an illusion cat?" At that question Caleb is dumbfounded by her. Is she stupid?

"Do you feel him?" He asks. How can Frumpkin be an illusion if she is sitting there petting him. If she can feel his soft orange tabby fur under her hands. If she can feel Frumpkin vibrating with purrs. Then Fjord reveals he has cat allergies. The strangeness of this group, will it ever cease to surprise him? They are trying to get to the academy. Horrible decision. Caleb bites his comment back and turns his head away, blinking rapidly, and starts fidgeting his hands on the table. Why do they keep talking? When will they leave? Must they bring back these awful reminders? Then Fjord is pointing at him and Caleb's eyes widen as he comes back into the conversation.

"Soltryce Academy. You know." Fjord is explaining to Nott.

"It's a- It's a very fancy p-place." Caleb shakes his head at Nott. He stumbles over his words but it was so light he hoped none of the others notice his slip.

"You know it." Fjord confirms, pointing once more at Caleb. Why can't they stop talking about this?

"I have heard of it." He answers. It's not a lie.

"And you have arcane talents as well?" Fjord digs further.

"Yeah." Caleb responds quickly and lightly, trying to stay out of his head. Has he blinked yet? Is he being suspicious?

"How long have you had yours?" Jester asks. How much can he say without giving it all away.

"Uh, that is a tricky question. Um I studied when I was younger, and uh and then I- I gave it up for a- a while. I picked it up again recently. So- It's all book-learned." It wasn't a lie. He kept repeating that in his head. It wasn't a lie. Just an over-generalization of the truth. They didn't need to know. Nobody needed to know. Hopefully this was just enough to get them off his back, to stop asking questions. He went back into his thoughts, idly scratched at his shoulder anxiously, and his gaze fell downward. Then Nott is talking about him more. Then books. His favourite item. She is offering to go looking and just the thought of more knowledge, more material, more research lifts his mood and draws his thoughts away from somber memories. Yes, books are good. He cannot be upset with Nott.

"Maybe in a little while." He answers. He shows Jester his heirloom books when she asks, and then wishes Fjord luck with the academy.

"That's rough, I hear." He comments. It wasn't a lie. It had been rough for him. But not everyone had that man as their teacher. Then Fjord asks if he knows anything about the academy. The irony of the question. Does Caleb know anything about the academy?

"All I know is how hard it is to get into." It's not a lie, he tells himself.

**Author's Note:**

> Character study?  
> I just wanted somewhere I could write all my thoughts and feelings about Caleb as I'm watching C2.
> 
> Playlist referencing some moments I write about:  
> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLN83N03siAETXxtpqQEPIdcw29qkX-eOx
> 
> Playlist I listen to when getting into Caleb's head to write:  
> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRlbwGWo09dK7hlqACMSiFdEAkVHyK8TN


End file.
